Notes on everything!
The date went superbly. We had a delicious meal at a Swiss-French restaurant. We browsed books at a kooky small bookstore. We went to see Iron Man–which, if you haven’t heard, is a pretty awesome movie. To me, the best superhero film since Batman Begins.
But no sparks. And three days later (yes I kept count) I asked him, and he felt more like staying friends as well.
So that’s how it turned out.
I know I set a personal rule that I would become a Secure Gay Man before entering the dating world. But I’m going on a date tonight!
He’s a good friend and I always feel great talking to him. One day I just blurted out (on IM), “Do you want to go out some time?” And he said yes!
So wish me luck.
(Boards? What boards?)
I thought I had seen the worst when Michael Johns was voted off two weeks ago. But Carly Smithson whips out her most rocking performance yet, and yet she was voted off! The same week Jason Castro poorly sang another song while employing his two signature expressions (which I like to call “constipated” and “relieved”). The same week that Brooke (yet again) messed up the beginning of her song — Jesus Christ Superstar, woman! You’re worse than Archuleta!
The worst part is the nagging suspicion that she lost votes because her song goes “Jesus Christ, superstar, do you think you’re what they say you are?” And I thought I could escape national despair by watching reality TV!
Carly, oh Carly. I weep for you. Facing unnecessarily cruel judges. A nation that hates you and loves “God Bless the USA.” And yet you soldiered on, keeping a smile on your face even as you, one of the two best vocalists this season, ended up in the bottom three time and again.
And I’m left wondering why I keep watching this stupid show. Elliott Yamin, Melinda Doolittle, and now Carly Smithson — I’m 0 for 3 so far.
My only hope is that Carly gets signed right away, and comes back with an album that’s all drunken hellfire and blasphemy. I’ll take the first hundred copies.
Brooke White — Xanax, once a day and before performing, talking to judges, or being on camera.
Carly Smithson — a bottle of whiskey and a microphone. Take as needed.
I’ve only seen like three of her videos and already I want to be best friends. Oh mah gahz.
And I’m learning so much. Who knew that lesbians only get 20 hours in between live-in girlfriends? 
Of course the joke with gay men is, “What do gay men bring on their second date?” “What second date?” (And yes, I will kill you if you repeat that and are not gay.)
It’s Pride Week on our campus. Happy Pride!
Youngme / Nowme is a web site where people re-create photos from their past, sometimes with an absurd level of attention to detail.
Everyone is cute as a kid, do you notice that? But some people–wow, what happened? 
I’ve been a neglectful mother again, baby chickies. Well, let me spit up some more life stories to tide you over.
The latest busy-ness has been me taking Kaplan courses all day Mon-Sat to prepare for Step 1, which is less than 1 month away! I don’t know anything! Stop! I need to study!! (I even went out and bought caffeine pills so I could re-create that Saved by the Bell scene)
But this morning I said “screw it” and slept in. Then I did a little bit of studying, but I also worked out with a friend, and then he cooked dinner and invited a bunch of us over.
Then we watched the first episode of Rome. It’s totally high-quality, but some of the scenes really brought back memories of Xena: Warrior Princess. God, I miss the nineties.
Ok back to work: lymphomas!
I.
I looked the other way when you persisted in your silly fascination with Jason Castro. Your cold reception towards Carly or Syesha (who probably have the best singing chops of the bunch) I tolerated, although I noted with dismay your preference for American-born whites.
But now you’ve voted off Michael “snug-fitting tee-shirt” Johns.
Before Kristy Lee.
Before Castro.
And I will hate you forever.
II.
Does anyone notice that Archuleta forgetting the lyrics is becoming a regular occurrence? First his audition, then the infamous “We Can Work It Out” fiasco, now “Seasons of Love” (and he only has, like, two lines to remember?).
David, I’m extremely disappointed in you. This is a joke to you. This is serious to these contestants, and this should be serious to you. Do you know that you had a possibility to win? Do you know that all of America is rooting for you?? Do you know that? And then you come in here and you treat this like a joke??
I have NEVER in my life yelled at a boy like this!! When my momma yells like this it’s because she loves me! I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you!! How DARE you!! Learn something from this! When you go to bed at night, you lay there and you take responsibility for yourself — because nobody’s going to take responsibility for you.
Yo, so check it out….
–Randy Jackson
I think I’ve figured out Randy Jackson’s technique for judging on American Idol. I imagine that there must be some sort of wheel apparatus under his table, and he can line up various parts of a critique together into a coherent whole. Put them together in various combinations for an infinite number of tepid, noncommittal responses!
Opening:
“Yo, yo…”
“All right…”
“[Contestant's name]!”
“So check it out…”
“Yo, dawg…”
“So what I like best about you is…”
Middle:
“The first part was a little pitchy…”
“It was an *okay* performance for you…”
“I didn’t love it…”
“It was all right…”
“You got this [genre1]/[genre2] vibe going on…”
“…some pitch problems…”
Ending:
“I don’t know.”
“It was just okay for me.”
“But you brought it back.”
“We got a hot one tonight!”
“Just keepin’ it real.”
As of late, the wheel has been stuck on the “okay performance” one. I don’t know Randy, I’m not feeling it. It’s just *okay* for me.
