I slowly transform into a misanthropic old coot

(EDIT: The following is not a true rant, but actually me trying to explore why I was so irritable that day. I’m not really that mean a person.)

Almost everything annoys me nowadays. I am finding it harder and harder to stand the sight of my roommate, or constantly having to hang out with him and his friends. They smoke, they drink way too much, they frequently stay up well past 3 AM, and they seem to have all the time in the world to go to casinos or go shopping or whatever.

There are too many people in my lab, and they annoy me with their talking. Today the newest guy was complaining that it seemed that there wasn’t much to do in lab, or that the work was mostly boring statistics and data analysis. I can’t stand it because when I was in that position I didn’t spend my time complaining. If there’s nothing to do, then ask other people what they’re doing. If they don’t have anything, then read some tutorials so you know what’s going on, or look up relevant articles, or do any of a million tasks. Or just leave if it’s such a big waste of your precious time. I’m sorry, but if you waltz in after half the summer is over, having spent the first half traveling in Europe, then don’t expect people to spoon-feed you to get you up to speed.

Young people who go to Europe by themselves annoy me. I realize that a lot of people do this, but it bugs me that these people take these huge long expensive vacations rather than helping their families with their money or time. Or that they cause their parents to worry so much about them. Or that they don’t spend that much time with their families. One of those, I’m not sure which.

Shallow people who go only for looks annoy me. Ignorant people who act like they know stuff annoy me. My sore throat annoys me. People who buy bottled water and throw aluminum cans in the trash annoy me. Doing laundry with broken machines annoys me. People who don’t maintain good personal hygiene annoy me. People who take part in risky activities annoy me. People who cause unnecessary drama annoy me. Having to be with other people rather than alone annoys me. Being stuck someplace I would rather not be annoys me. People who eat and eat and don’t gain weight annoy me.

I’d be extremely happy if I could just live by myself and not have to deal with other people, except on a formal level. Or to shake my fist at them.

Fleas!

For some reason, we have fleas in our apartment now. This is extremely distressing and makes me feel like I’m living in filth. Ack!

I have to do some heavy-duty, obsessive-compulsive vacuuming today, but my roommate is likely going to be asleep all day. So I am going to have to abide with the creepy crawlies at least until tonight.

A little Paul McCullough fanservice

In honor of the record number of hits for my last Food Network Star post, and also to not disappoint those of you who came here searching for shirtless pictures (especially of Paul, of course), I present…

The Paul McCullough fanservice edition!

(Images were lifted from Paul’s Myspace page as long as he doesn’t object.)

There you go, kids. Now run along while I watch my stories.

Yes, I have it!

I broke down and went to Barnes and Noble today to pick up my copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I felt like a junkie desperate for my fix — I knew that I had a copy on order from Amazon (will be returned once it arrives), and that I’m going a little over budget this month, but I just HAD to have it.

All HP plot discussion is OFF LIMITS from now until I finish the book! Don’t even talk about previous books — I don’t want to know what is or is not foreshadowing.

And the Next Food Network Star is…

(Don’t worry, spoilers are under the fold — in case you’re gonna wait to catch a repeat)

For some reason the final results show was recorded live. The host (who is this guy?) was smarmy, and the material they used to fill up the hour was mostly pointless. Here’s what I was able to catch:

- A look into the lives of Rory Schepisi and Amy Finley. This was pretty interesting, if a bit flat in their portrayals of these two people. Rory was the small-town Texan surrounded by all her neighbors at her restaurant. Amy was the Southern California beach mom surrounded by her huge family.

My sense from watching these was that Rory is a guy’s gal — blonde, outgoing, fun, a little sloppy, can hold her own with a group of men — while Amy is a woman’s woman — mother of two, cultured (lived in France), family-oriented, superior organizational skills. Amy is the Monica of the group, while Rory is the Rachel.

- Group interview with all 11 finalists, with clips from earlier this season. This part seemed somewhat unnecessary. Except for the shirtless guys footage with Adrien, Mike Salmon, and (good Lord!) Paul. That was absolutely indispensable. And I knew Paul worked out, but who knew he had such a body?

Smarmy Host, for some reason, started bringing up all of the feuding and drama that happened during the season, and then asking the people involved to explain. This is live, this is in front of each other, and they can’t talk for more than two or three sentences. They all kept the veneer of friendliness, but I wonder about their true feelings.

For some reason, it seemed like the camera loved Paul. While someone like Vivien got very little air time, every other question was directed to Paul or had something to do with Paul. While I love the guy, it seemed a bit disproportionate.

- Bringing out the judges: Bob, Susie, and Bobby Flay. Flay was gracious, saying that he would have finished seventh in this competition, and that he would never have been able to do an Iron Chef commentary or bake a wedding cake. Bob and Susie also seemed to genuinely like and respect all of the finalists. Susie even, when Paul took the opportunity to ask her for notes for his improvement (somewhat a faux pas in my book — this is not The Paul Show, after all), she gave him honest, personalized constructive feedback, rather than dodging the question or being vague.

- Finally, Emeril Lagasse and the president of the Food Network came out to announce the prizes, and Emeril the results. The winner:

A powerful de-conversion testimony

Today’s LA Times has a good piece by the religion columnist on how he lost his faith over the course of his reporting. It’s moving and well-written, and parts of it remind me of my own experiences struggling with my faith. Other parts of it made me feel fortunate to not be bound to this institution anymore.

I couldn’t get the victims’ stories or the bishops’ lies — many of them right there on their own stationery — out of my head. I had been in journalism more than two decades and had dealt with murders, rapes, other violent crimes and tragedies. But this was different — the children were so innocent, their parents so faithful, the priests so sick and bishops so corrupt.

The lifeline Father Vincent had tried to give me began to slip from my hands.

I sought solace in another belief: that a church’s heart is in the pews, not the pulpits. Certainly the people who were reading my stories would recoil and, in the end, recapture God’s house. Instead, I saw parishioners reflexively support priests who had molested children by writing glowing letters to bishops and judges, offering them jobs or even raising their bail while cursing the victims, often to their faces.

The worst thing about religion, I think, is that it forces people to give up the idea of thinking for themselves. It’s more about deferring to the sanctioned, official positions on various topics — sometimes with a little personal embellishment in the reasons why, but with the same conclusion.

It should be clear by now that this is not a valid way to live.

Lab is fun again. Also: funerals.

So this week I have been working in the lab (my summer research fellowship), and work is picking up. There are lots of cool analyses I’m getting ready to do tomorrow, and I’m pretty interested in what the data have to say.

Today we also had lab meeting, and then our PI took us all out to lunch again (he also did this a few weeks ago when I just started). What a cool guy. Among the doctors I admire the most, he is near the top.

I’m going to Taiwan in a week, to attend my grandmother’s funeral. No need for condolences; we weren’t close (and she had a history of confrontations with other people in my family). But I’ll attend and pay my respects, and I’ll do it convincingly and thoroughly — because no one is going to find fault with my family or the way they raised me.

I am looking forward to the vacation and the Taiwanese food. What I’m not looking forward to are the humid heat and the relatives, some of whom may become emotional and dramatic next week.

Sometimes I wish I could just cut some people off forever and never have to deal with them again. It’s silly, how things like duty and family keep us chained to people we really don’t get along with, and forces us to get together every now and then and drive each other crazy.

The incomparable Bette Midler

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember, in the winter,
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed, that with the sun’s love,
In the spring, becomes the rose.

That’s all for tonight. I’ll catch up with you guys tomorrow. Good night.

Since we’re on the subject of the Food Network…

Paula Deen (on Road Tasted) is one of those American tourists that make the locals roll their eyes and say, “Ugh, Americans!” She is boisterous, cracks jokes that the locals don’t find quite as hilarious, and makes from-the-gut comments about their culture and food that borders on insensitive.

Please make her stop visiting other countries! She is like Borat!

Food Network Star update

Uh, I didn’t actually *watch* the episode this week. But I did catch the recap video on the web site.

Wow. What a surprise twist. First, they ask Amy to leave, then it turns out JAG had to step down due to some misrepresentation about his past.

Honestly, I was glad to see Amy return instead of JAG. That guy just intimidates me a whole lot, and his past has always seemed shady. Amy, on the other hand, seems to be someone who’s really trying to make it for her family’s sake. She’s very together, and her food is awesome, and she seems to be the friendlier person, someone I’d love to get to know.

That said, I would still find myself more interested in Rory’s cooking show. I’m just sayin’.