And the Next Food Network Star is…

(Don’t worry, spoilers are under the fold — in case you’re gonna wait to catch a repeat)

For some reason the final results show was recorded live. The host (who is this guy?) was smarmy, and the material they used to fill up the hour was mostly pointless. Here’s what I was able to catch:

- A look into the lives of Rory Schepisi and Amy Finley. This was pretty interesting, if a bit flat in their portrayals of these two people. Rory was the small-town Texan surrounded by all her neighbors at her restaurant. Amy was the Southern California beach mom surrounded by her huge family.

My sense from watching these was that Rory is a guy’s gal — blonde, outgoing, fun, a little sloppy, can hold her own with a group of men — while Amy is a woman’s woman — mother of two, cultured (lived in France), family-oriented, superior organizational skills. Amy is the Monica of the group, while Rory is the Rachel.

- Group interview with all 11 finalists, with clips from earlier this season. This part seemed somewhat unnecessary. Except for the shirtless guys footage with Adrien, Mike Salmon, and (good Lord!) Paul. That was absolutely indispensable. And I knew Paul worked out, but who knew he had such a body?

Smarmy Host, for some reason, started bringing up all of the feuding and drama that happened during the season, and then asking the people involved to explain. This is live, this is in front of each other, and they can’t talk for more than two or three sentences. They all kept the veneer of friendliness, but I wonder about their true feelings.

For some reason, it seemed like the camera loved Paul. While someone like Vivien got very little air time, every other question was directed to Paul or had something to do with Paul. While I love the guy, it seemed a bit disproportionate.

- Bringing out the judges: Bob, Susie, and Bobby Flay. Flay was gracious, saying that he would have finished seventh in this competition, and that he would never have been able to do an Iron Chef commentary or bake a wedding cake. Bob and Susie also seemed to genuinely like and respect all of the finalists. Susie even, when Paul took the opportunity to ask her for notes for his improvement (somewhat a faux pas in my book — this is not The Paul Show, after all), she gave him honest, personalized constructive feedback, rather than dodging the question or being vague.

- Finally, Emeril Lagasse and the president of the Food Network came out to announce the prizes, and Emeril the results. The winner:

Amy Finley

Yes, America voted, and they voted Miss karate-chopping, French-trained, stay-at-home mom. While I am happy for her, my heart honestly sank when I heard a name that wasn’t Rory’s. And the celebration was marred by Rory’s very apparent disappointment. The other finalists were busy giving her hugs and consolation while the balloons were dropping and they were giving Amy the keys to her Mercury Mariner. Obviously the people at Food Network need to learn a few things about preparing a results show where you can actually be happy for the winner. Lesson #1: escort the loser off the stage as quickly as you can so they can grieve fully.

Anyway, I have mixed feelings because I know Amy and Paul were buds. Let’s just hope she adds some sizzle to her personality for her show. Otherwise I’m not interested.