VD 1: Deviancy/repression

I think it’s fair to say that, over the course of growing up, I have developed a pretty fucked up attitude about sex. At times it’s an obsession, at times it’s scary and shameful, and often it’s both at the same time. You won’t find anyone as repressed as I am.

I used to think that, when I started coming out of the closet (note: I am still starting) + losing my religion a couple of years ago, I was finally going to be free from arbitrary rules defining what’s sexually acceptable and what’s not.

Now it seems that I’ve simply pushed that boundary back a few feet. Gay sex is okay, but being promiscuous is not (for good reason, although how do you define promiscuity?). Group sex is okay in theory, but rarely in practice. Sex with animals is definitely not kosher, I know that one. BDSM might be okay, if you keep it safe? Paraphilias and fetishes are ??????

This week a friend was talking about going to a nude beach, where people are having sex. This kind of stuff still makes me nervous — I worry about being too uptight, but I also worry about revealing too much about my freak-itude.

And even within the range of just plain private sex between two consenting adults, there are a billion rules that I’ve never heard of. When is it okay between friends? When is it too soon after a first date?

Stuff like the Midwest Teen Sex Show and Savage Love are great.

But sometimes I wish we just didn’t even have to have sex at all. Or need to be in confusing-as-hell relationships.

Suck on that, Valentine’s Day.