A nice Christian girl

For several years now, my parents have been dropping a steady stream of hints about dating.

“Are there any girls you like in your class?”

“I hear so-and-so’s daughter is pretty.”

“So how many people in your class are dating now?”

“Whatever happened to that girl you were sitting next to at the white coat ceremony? Do you still talk to her?”

They are also under the impression that I’m still a Christian, even though I’ve stopped attending church unless I’m at home with them. I play along sometimes — don’t want any Marguerite Perrin-style blowups in the house.

So you can imagine my reaction when yesterday they mentioned that “So-and-so from church wants you to email their daughter and see if she needs help moving. If you’re not too busy, of course. They told us she’s very pretty, and a devout Christian.”

Gag.

It’s not enough that she has a vagina, but she also has to be a Jesus-freak? (No offense to reasonable and open-minded Christians.) No thanks!

Happy Lunar New Year!

It’s the year of the Rat — the first (and best) of the zodiac animals! Check out these impressive characteristics:

Clever, intelligent and quick-witted. This Sign is ambitious and strong-willed, and is motivated by its own interests, which often include money and power. Natural charm and persuasion. They are energetic and versatile and can usually find their way around obstacles, and adapt to various environments easily. Its natural charm and sharp, funny demeanor make it an appealing friend for almost anyone.

Also, my New Years money came out to $140. I packed a fiver for my baby niece, in case you were wondering. (It would have been more, but I didn’t want to give more than my sister, who is older and actually earns money.)

The photo above is one of my favorite types of rats, the Sprague Dawley. My first research project was on these little critters, injecting them full of THC (the active ingredient in marijuana) — they were high all day.

Party schmarty

When my sister brought me my absentee ballot yesterday, I was flipping through it to look at the names of the remaining Democratic candidates. I became slightly confused when I saw the Republican candidates listed, and no listing of the Democrats.

Then I checked the booklet. “REPUBLICAN.” And it was addressed to me. Wha??

That’s right. I am apparently a card-carrying member of the Republican Party (or GOP, as we like to call it). My mom must have signed me up during the last presidential election.

Obviously I am going to change my party affiliation before the presidential elections, but this puts me in an interesting situation. Should I vote for Mitt Romney and make baby John McCain cry? Show some write-in love for Clinton or Obama? Support the fledgling Jackie ‘08 campaign? The possibilities are limitless.

I’m taking suggestions now.

They’re adorable, Mrs. Jackson!

Soccer-mom-type woman introducing her children to the Seattle’s Best Coffee barista:

“This is Michael, and this is Tyson.”

*squint* Really??

Talent show

There is a talent show coming up. What should I do?

If I were more courageous I would sign up to sing something. Time to hit the rehearsal halls, a.k.a. karaoke bars.

If I were really brave I would do that drag act that I said someone should do last year. Pick a song for me!