You have a new quest!

I share my personal self-reflections from time to time, because it’s nice to have a record of how I’ve changed, and because I hope these ideas can help other people.

Recently I have been thinking about all my baggage (all that relationships/sex/intimacy/fear business that I keep blogging about).

After talking to a good buddy of mine from college, I concluded that I should sort myself out as a gay man–and, eventually, come out to my family–before I try to form any sort of relationship.

And a big key to all of this, I’m finding, is the shame running through all aspects of my life. Shame about my appearance, about personal shortcomings, about my shame itself, and most of all, about my sexuality. To identify as gay, as a social label–that doesn’t bother me. But nothing makes me more nervous than to acknowledge that, yes, I have sexual desires.

Wicked!

I caught the very last day of a spring promotion where tickets were 25% off, so I finally saw Wicked at the Pantages Theater.

And wow, the show was pretty spectacular! The special effects, set and costume design, and the all-out musical numbers. There’s also some pulling at the heartstrings, too (as all good musicals must).

As I was telling my friend, Wizard of Oz + musical theater = one happy gay guy. I’ll be humming all weekend.

Thoughts on American Idol tonight

All right, Top 10. What a night of performances! My thoughts:

• Where did this girl Syesha come from?? WOW she’s got my attention now!
• Brooke continues to be painful/boring to watch. She’s such a charming person, but I don’t think she’s got what it takes. Take some risks — sing Tori Amos! Regina Spektor! Amy Winehouse!
• Kristy Lee Cook has got a pretty sexy dad when she was a baby. Yeah I said it — y’all were thinking it anyway. Go watch her video if you don’t believe me.
• Also, was anyone else hoping she would end “God Bless the USA” with a salute? Her arm was going up and I got all excited, but it didn’t happen. Isn’t there a rule or something? I’m pretty sure it’s in the Patriot Act.
• Archie can do no wrong. But Simon’s line does kind of ring true: “I don’t think that is you at all, and I’d be amazed if you chose this song yourself, because that isn’t you.” Perhaps a message to Stage-Dad Archuleta to back off? David, first chance you get, you sing “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield. Or some equally-inspiring freedom ballad. Trust me, one day you’ll need those words and you’ll have them right there inside you.
• David Cook is white-hot. The acoustic “Billie Jean” arrangement may have been Chris Cornell’s, but props to David for brilliant song selection and execution. I stood up along with Paula.

My picks: Syesha Mercado, David Archuleta, David Cook

More adventures in cookery

Whether or not my cooking has gotten any better, I’m getting better at taking food pictures! I even borrowed some of my roommate’s apples for visual effect — how’s that for composition?

Wine was on sale at the supermarket this weekend (for Easter??) so I picked up a bottle of their finest discount Chardonnay. But seriously, I did consult a vintage chart and everything.

I decided to make some chicken to go with the wine. Originally, I set out to make a chicken fried rice — something simple and that would make some tasty leftovers. But as my chicken sauteed, it looked so good by itself that I hated to mix it up with other ingredients. So the rice and peas that I had intended to mix in became the side dishes, and it turned out pretty well.

This time, deglazing was not a good idea. The wine was too weirdly tart on the chicken and the rice and peas. Perhaps if it was like a chicken with mango salsa or something that could have worked, but here it tasted funny.

But it makes a great picture, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately Titled Institution

I was watching TV with some friends when we saw a commercial for Universal Technical Institute. Well, just watch the commercial.

As Jay Leno would say, I’m sure this is a fine institution.

Used to be such a lovely word!

And yes, that is a young Hugh Laurie.

Omit needless!

Every few weeks I get a bill from the medical center for the time I had piriformis syndrome in October. First it was for the same-day clinic office visit. Then it was for the use of the facilities. Then it was harassing me to pay (a billing glitch made them think I owed them over $70 for a ten-minute office visit with a NP). Now it’s for the two physical therapy visits I made afterwards.

I don’t deny that I made three separate appointments — same-day clinic, PT, and PT follow-up. But really, couldn’t this have been streamlined somehow? The follow-up was unnecessary, since my symptoms were gone by that time. And I could have cut out the same-day clinic visit altogether if I was able to go see physical therapy from the beginning. Looking at the bill, each visit cost hundreds of dollars (most of which was paid for by my insurance). So this is not trivial.

Why not make it so that patients can pick a specialist to see first (that specialist also being trained in some primary care)? And why not tell patients, “if you feel better, then you can cancel your appointment”?

And while we’re at it, let’s work on the process of bill collection. They could have asked me to pay $15 at the office, which many offices do, rather than billing me later. They can use online billing, like my credit card. But instead they send me snail mail letters that cost money and slow down the whole communication process. And they handled the billing glitch very inefficiently.

I like to think that health care providers want to help patients save money. So why aren’t they dealing with these little inefficiencies?

Movies, talent, and coffee

It’s time for another unrelated-items mishmash!

I (finally) watched another of my gay must-see films: Beautiful Thing. This is a movie that holds a special place in my heart because I borrowed it from one of my first gay friends during my senior year of college and never got around to seeing it before he needed it back. So now, two years later, I finally know what the fuss was about.

It’s a very sweet film, and rich in detail. The DVD would have been better with subtitles (so a Yank like me can understand more of the dialogue). But it was all about coming out, and complicated family dynamics, and trying to make everything work.

Yesterday was our annual student talent show. Like last year, I was impressed by many people for their hidden talents (dancing, singing, musical instruments), and by the rest for having the balls to go up there and have a good time. That’s what it’s all about. I wussed out this time, and I think maybe I shouldn’t have worried so much and just gone for it.

Well, maybe next year.

Finally, the new Peet’s Coffee down at University Town Center is fantastic. Classical music (great for studying), plenty of comfy seating, good lighting, happy and pleasant baristas, good coffee. This may be my second home.

It would be a good place to start planning my drag act for next year’s talent show, right? What should it be: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper or “Glamorous” by Fergie?

I need me one of these

How considerate of them

Southern California Edison - SCHEDULED POWER OUTAGE for MARCH 17, 2008

Scheduled Outage Date:

Monday - March 17th, 2008

Outage Start Time:

9:00am

Projected End Time:

3:00pm