How Randy Jackson does his job

Yo, so check it out….
–Randy Jackson

I think I’ve figured out Randy Jackson’s technique for judging on American Idol. I imagine that there must be some sort of wheel apparatus under his table, and he can line up various parts of a critique together into a coherent whole. Put them together in various combinations for an infinite number of tepid, noncommittal responses!

Opening:
“Yo, yo…”
“All right…”
“[Contestant's name]!”
“So check it out…”
“Yo, dawg…”
“So what I like best about you is…”

Middle:
“The first part was a little pitchy…”
“It was an *okay* performance for you…”
“I didn’t love it…”
“It was all right…”
“You got this [genre1]/[genre2] vibe going on…”
“…some pitch problems…”

Ending:
“I don’t know.”
“It was just okay for me.”
“But you brought it back.”
“We got a hot one tonight!”
“Just keepin’ it real.”

As of late, the wheel has been stuck on the “okay performance” one. I don’t know Randy, I’m not feeling it. It’s just *okay* for me.

Tags: American Idol, Randy Jackson