I know, I know

I’ve been a neglectful mother again, baby chickies. Well, let me spit up some more life stories to tide you over.

The latest busy-ness has been me taking Kaplan courses all day Mon-Sat to prepare for Step 1, which is less than 1 month away! I don’t know anything! Stop! I need to study!! (I even went out and bought caffeine pills so I could re-create that Saved by the Bell scene)

But this morning I said “screw it” and slept in. Then I did a little bit of studying, but I also worked out with a friend, and then he cooked dinner and invited a bunch of us over.

Then we watched the first episode of Rome. It’s totally high-quality, but some of the scenes really brought back memories of Xena: Warrior Princess. God, I miss the nineties.

Ok back to work: lymphomas!

American Idol viewers: I hate you all

I.

I looked the other way when you persisted in your silly fascination with Jason Castro. Your cold reception towards Carly or Syesha (who probably have the best singing chops of the bunch) I tolerated, although I noted with dismay your preference for American-born whites.

But now you’ve voted off Michael “snug-fitting tee-shirt” Johns.

Before Kristy Lee.

Before Castro.

And I will hate you forever.

II.

Does anyone notice that Archuleta forgetting the lyrics is becoming a regular occurrence? First his audition, then the infamous “We Can Work It Out” fiasco, now “Seasons of Love” (and he only has, like, two lines to remember?).

David, I’m extremely disappointed in you. This is a joke to you. This is serious to these contestants, and this should be serious to you. Do you know that you had a possibility to win? Do you know that all of America is rooting for you?? Do you know that? And then you come in here and you treat this like a joke??

I have NEVER in my life yelled at a boy like this!! When my momma yells like this it’s because she loves me! I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you!! How DARE you!! Learn something from this! When you go to bed at night, you lay there and you take responsibility for yourself — because nobody’s going to take responsibility for you.

Try not to crack up

Wait for it…

And the reaction:

How Randy Jackson does his job

Yo, so check it out….
–Randy Jackson

I think I’ve figured out Randy Jackson’s technique for judging on American Idol. I imagine that there must be some sort of wheel apparatus under his table, and he can line up various parts of a critique together into a coherent whole. Put them together in various combinations for an infinite number of tepid, noncommittal responses!

Opening:
“Yo, yo…”
“All right…”
“[Contestant's name]!”
“So check it out…”
“Yo, dawg…”
“So what I like best about you is…”

Middle:
“The first part was a little pitchy…”
“It was an *okay* performance for you…”
“I didn’t love it…”
“It was all right…”
“You got this [genre1]/[genre2] vibe going on…”
“…some pitch problems…”

Ending:
“I don’t know.”
“It was just okay for me.”
“But you brought it back.”
“We got a hot one tonight!”
“Just keepin’ it real.”

As of late, the wheel has been stuck on the “okay performance” one. I don’t know Randy, I’m not feeling it. It’s just *okay* for me.

Christopher Hitchens and the problem with culture wars

Having deserted the Christian/conservative camp only a few years ago, and being a student of biology myself, I have avidly followed the evolution-creationism battles in the news and blogosphere.

Chris Hitchens was, along with Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, and PZ Myers, one of the Big Names, the decorated heroes of our cause, regularly skirmishing with the leading creationists. We gleefully recounted their exploits and composed songs celebrating them.

Now Hitchens ups and uses “lesbian” as some sort of pejorative against Andrew Sullivan. No one is sure exactly what it means, but it can’t be flattering. And it’s disappointing and offensive. The quote:

SULLIVAN: Again, you keep playing with that quote. We’re happy to have it on the record. And now you’ve made me forget my second point, which is –
HITCHENS: Oh, well, don’t be such a lesbian. Get on with it.

Which brings me to the problem with culture wars. As with physical wars, you start to place the members on your side on an undue pedestal, and villainize the opponent, and dig in and adopt a wartime mentality. Which is dangerous for anybody, but especially for people who consider themselves champions of free thought and rationality.

Hitchens owes us all an apology (especially lesbians). And none of that “sorry, I guess,” or “if I offended anyone” crap. The problem lies with your words and attitudes, not with people being easily offended. Disrespecting entire groups of people is not the same as “telling it like it is.” And being a liberal champion in one arena does not make a person necessarily someone to be respected in other areas.

So hopefully that’s the end of my silly hero-worshipping, good-versus-evil tendencies.

Until I forget again and the next great religion debate rolls around. Maybe this one.

For your information…

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Stick a fork in me

I’m done with second year!

Moving to Mars!

Yesterday for April Fools Day, one of Google’s jokes was a supposed project with Virgin to create the first human colony on Mars by 2014. Ha ha, great joke, guys!

And then, as if by design, the Science Channel aired a show about Mars. I was flipping through to catch American Idol but got caught up in this show.

Apparently, making Mars habitable is very much within our reach — all it takes are some greenhouse gases (our specialty!) to warm it up and melt the frozen subterranean oceans. Then, with abundant water and CO2, and all the elements necessary for life already in the soil, plants will be able to grow and generate oxygen for humans.

Jury duty

I received a summons to serve as a juror in April. Now, our classes are over (that’s right, no more lecture-based courses for the rest of my life!) but we do have a little thing called Boards coming up (May 15 for me) and until then we will be cramming cramming cramming, both at home and with the Kaplan class we have on our campus.

So April is not a good month for me. I had to postpone my service until May 27 (giving myself some leeway in case I wanted to push my test date back).

And this throws a wrench in any plans I could have made for a vacation before the start of 3rd year (June 2). But I guess when my country needs me…

[cue Kristy Lee Cook singing "God Bless the USA"]

You have a new quest!

I share my personal self-reflections from time to time, because it’s nice to have a record of how I’ve changed, and because I hope these ideas can help other people.

Recently I have been thinking about all my baggage (all that relationships/sex/intimacy/fear business that I keep blogging about).

After talking to a good buddy of mine from college, I concluded that I should sort myself out as a gay man–and, eventually, come out to my family–before I try to form any sort of relationship.

And a big key to all of this, I’m finding, is the shame running through all aspects of my life. Shame about my appearance, about personal shortcomings, about my shame itself, and most of all, about my sexuality. To identify as gay, as a social label–that doesn’t bother me. But nothing makes me more nervous than to acknowledge that, yes, I have sexual desires.